Stress

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Today started off as a nice day masha’Allah. We went to our local masjid as it was my turn to give a talk. The sisters were lovely and I met up with a sister I hadn’t seen in 2 years. The sun was shining and we returned home. The afternoon took a turn though and it was an afternoon and evening of pure and utter STRESS.

You know when you have one of those days where the baby doesn’t stop crying, there is loads to do, things haven’t gone to ‘plan’, your head is banging – ready to explode, and your children seem to be stuck to you with permanent super glue. Well, I had one of those days.

During all of this, I was having an online conversation with a sister in South Africa about an article I need to write for SISTERS Magazine. This sister is also homeschooling and I asked her: “Tell me why I’m homeschooling again, when I could send my kids to school and spend the day reading Qu’ran etc.” She sent me a beautiful reply back which I copied in order to paste here, but my computer restarted itself and I lost it. But basically she said: “Because we love our children so much and want to see the wonderful look in their eyes when they discover and learn something new.” She also added, “And also because we probably wouldn’t spend our time reading Qu’ran etc if our kids were in school, just like those mums whose kids are in school don’t!”

Well, that put me in my place and made me smile through all the madness of my screaming baby and dd who was irritating her baby brother. Am I heading towards a burnout? I don’t know. But what I do know is this…tomorrow I am insha’Allah going out to Streatham Common toย allow for my heart to see some greenery and for my lungs to breathe in some less polluted air, for R to run free and to just take a ‘break’.

You know, my thoughts also led to something else today. What would it be like if I couldn’t homeschool. If my husband died and I couldn’t manage with it all. Subhana’Allah, it really made me feel grateful that I have a husband who masha’Allah works to support his family, thus enabling me to educate my children. Alhamdulillah.

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12 responses »

  1. Assalamu ‘alaykum,

    Don’t worry sis, majority of us have days like that, it can be a bit stressful especially when taking care of a baby at the same time as teaching, but alhamdulillaah.

    It’s important to remind oursleves often ,the reason we’re keeping them home to school them ourselves, it can be tough and challenging at times, but at the same time so rewarding insha Allaah.

    Hope you enjoy your day out tomorrow insha Allaah, and that’s the great part of homeschooling too, the flexibility, and there’s so much your child can benefit from while out for the day, such as discovering the beauty of Allaah’s creation, go for it insha Allaah!

    • Ws wr wb

      Jzk sis! Qadr Allah…it has been raining all day! So, we couldn’t go out. But alhamdulillah, just took it easy. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Wsm.

  2. Assalamualaikum,

    You pointed out something that I know that I had taken for granted before – it allows me to be at home and laugh and cuddle with the kids not to mention the all-important education that we get to do. The end of time is near and I feel very fortunate that I can be at home developing my relationship with my children. That bond is something that is very hard to create and needs time, and itself is a great blessing of Allah. Don’t forget on the days that we think they are not learning, they are more likely absorbing everything around them.

    I think you’re an amazing sister who does alot for her family and her community, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves that having a strong community is made up of strong families, and therefore sometimes we need to strip thing back to basics and then move up again.

    Have a great day, I’m sure you and your daughter will enjoy it and you’ll be refreshed again inshaAllah.

    Take care sis.

    • Salaam sis,

      Jzk for your comment. You are so right, ‘having a strong community is made up of strong families’…may Allah (Swt) grant us the tawfeeq to do our motherly jobs well. Ameen. When we think about the akhira, it all makes sense doesn’t it. And the stress and bad days don’t seem that bad! Alhamdulillah for everything.

      Wsm. x

  3. Well put masha ALLAH. Felt like I’m reading my own words. Sis, believe it or not, I go through this every month when PMS is around the corner. I’m supposedly prepared for the burnout since it hit so often, still it caught me off guard EVERYTIME. Your lucky to have greeneries and all, we dont in the city. However, what works for me is a good deep breath, a cup of jasmine tea, and no doubt dzikr the shahada, alhamdullilah.

  4. Dear Sister

    I have had days like this also and they are challengind though now I feel Allah sends us these tests to review are intentions of why we are home schooling-
    surley it is for His pleasure and for us to prepare our children in all aspects to be the best Muslims whome our beloved messenger PBUH will be happy with on the day of Judgment.
    We are giving out children the neccessary skills to betake themselves to Allah inwardly and outwardly and also are educating the next generation so we are in fact contributing to building the foundations of the future muslim ummah- this is a great task and involves much sacrifice. May Allah accept our actions Aameen.
    Futhermore it is a reminder for us that Allah is the one who is in charge and we are the slaves weak and in constat need of His divine mercy. It is times like this that one is encouraged to turn to Allah with all of ones self to ask Allah for His help in our every day matters for it is only Him that gives tawfeeq and openings for us to achieve what we need to do. We are the puppets and He is pulling the strings- So please Allah deal with us with your kindness and mercy and do not leave us to ourselves for a second for we would surely ruin our selfs if you did. Aameen.

    With Duas
    Umme Muhamad

    • Ameen Allahumma Ameen!! That is such a beautiful comment sis, has made me feel a whole lot better. Alhamdulillah. You are right, we need to renew our intentions behind homeschooling and also as to what our purpose in this life is. Alhamdulillah for being a muslim. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Masha’Allah, sister! Hang in there!
    I know, I mean, we all know, how it can feel sometimes when the kids drive us nuts! I’ve had those days, too. And sometimes, we find ourselves doubting our ability to homeschool. But, Allah has only given us what we can handle, and He is the only one with whom we should seek help.
    May Allah accept from us our efforts, continue to guide us in the upbringing of our children, and lighten our loads, AMEEN!
    Also, masha’Allah, there is a beutiful series of articles published by Al-Jumuah magazine last year about homeschooling. There are two articles in particular about why we should homeschool our children which are very beautiful and masha’Allah very well researched and well written. And there is another one called “Free to be Motherly” that I just recently reread and it gave me so much inspiration and hope.
    She speaks about taking our time with our kids and allowing them to speak to us. Also, about speaking to them the way we would want to be spoken to. I know, it is stuff we have all heard a thousand times, but a good reminder none-the-less.
    May Allah help us all to be the best muslim Ummi’s we can be! AMEEN!

    • Salaam,

      what an inspiring and motivating comment masha’Allah. Seems like my feelings are shared by many! I receive the Al Jumuah mag and loved the homeschooling articles masha’Allah. Didn’t read te Free to be motherly one though. Jzk for your advice. It is so true…we need to speak to our kids the way we would like to be spoken to because then they too will speak to others in the same way insha’Allah. Jzk sis!

      Wsm,
      Umm R

  6. Asalamualaykum sister,

    I came across your blog purely by chance and have been reading with great interest! Quite recently i had made a decision to homeschool my two children inshaAllah (2 and a half & 9 months) and so have only just got the ball rolling on the whole thing. (Homeschooling is unheard of in my family and social circles…) Having done some research though, i’m confused about where to start. The wealth of information is overwhelming and to be honest, i’m a little lost for direction. Is there any advice you can offer me?
    You seem to be in the full swing of things and your posts have inspired me hugely mashAllah. I would love to benefit from your wisdom!!

    May Allah bless your intentions and keep you and your daughter successful in this and all that you do for His sake. Ameen.

    Thank you very much for your help

    • Ws wr wb! Welcome to ummihomeschoolsme… LOL! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I am insha’Allah going to reply to your comment via a post I will be writing either tonight or tomorrow morning insha’Allah. Pray it will be of benefit. Ameen.

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