Change is good and needed!


One thing I’ve realised about HE, is that it has to change. I may have written about this before but for myself, I need to write about it again. Life changes and so HE must also sometimes change to fit in with such changes.

Right now, I have a very very active almost 2-year-old. When I look back at what I did with his sister, I cringe because I have hardly done the same with him. Many sisters tell me that this is normal and I agree with them. But I do want to give him his time. So, although I had prepared to start R’s HE this morning, I decided to delay it til the afternoon. Instead, we headed off to a local Muslim playgroup where they had an Eid party and Z enjoyed playing and just being a boy and stuffing his face with chocolate cake! Although R was the eldest there (all kids her age are at school), she enjoyed it too. She enjoyed looking after her brother and being the eldest in the group.

When I came home, Z was put to sleep for his afternoon nap and R began doing her workboxes! It just didn’t work. I’ve realised that when it comes to arts and crafts/topic work, the afternoon is perfect for her. But for Quran, math, English etc – she just doesn’t do well in the afternoon.

So, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma, phoned up my HE mentor (another HE Mum who is probably sick of my phone calls) and she simply but wonderfully advised me to just change my timetable and to do arts and crafts/topic work on a Monday afternoon so that Z still has his time and switch the other stuff that I would have done on the Monday morning to a weekend morning.

And by golly, my problem was solved! lol It seems so simple, but I just couldn’t see how I could lose another morning (we lose a morning’s HE on a Thursday when we go to the East London HE group).

During this conversation, I also realised (jzk sis!) that I just have to let go of some things – not everything (!) but some things. I HAVE to accept that Z is a very active boy and to just basically let him get on with it. He is not his sister and will never be his sister and nor should I expect him to be. He is on ‘destruction mode’ most of the time and I just have to deal with that. Yes, I have a son! How different boys and girls are. So, instead of constantly picking up after him – I’m going to really try and chill out and just do a major tidy up of toys/books at the end of the day. I mean, why kill myself. Today, he pulled down 2 shelf loads of books around 3-4 times during the day. By the fourth time, I was at breaking point and it happened whilst I was on the phone to the sister and she just advised me to leave it. This was his way of doing things and if I were to tell him off every time he did it, he would come to the conclusion that going near books was bad. How true.

And so, I left it. And gosh it felt good. Alhamdulillah. My posts are probably not making any sense whatsoever – writing this stuff is more of a release for myself! lol

Oh, by the way – my timetable has changed as a result of all of the above. You can visit the top of the blog to see the new timetable under the tab 2009-2010 TIMETABLE.


2 responses »

  1. Assalamu ‘alaykum, Yes, I agree…boys are definitely very different to girls, I have 2 myself alhamdulillaah, and they are very boisterous most of the time.
    Masha’Allaah, I’m glad anyway you’ve found a way around it, and sometimes it is less stress to let them ‘get on with it’ especially at that age, seems like your doing well sis, Masha’Allaah.

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