Made me think…

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Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending the afternoon with a dear friend mashaAllah. She drove all the way from the other side of London and made us lunch. I am very grateful to Allah (Swt) for the sincere sisters he has placed on my path in life.  Alhamdulillah. She’s the type of person that really makes you think deeply about LOTS of things. She used to home ed her three boys and is considering home edding them again. After discussing home ed, methods of home ed, and the way some Muslim home edders tend to go towards a kind of ‘home ed extreme’ and lock their children up away from the world as if that will save them, she shared something with me which struck a chord with me.

“When home educating, our aim shouldn’t be protecting our children from the world, but rather it should be that we are the ones that introduces them to the world.”

Might not strike a chord with you, but it led me to really think about what this HE journey is all about…what are your thoughts?

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16 responses »

  1. Assalam Alaikum,

    I would like to give my view on this, based on my experiences as a teacher… No where near a mum to do HE though~ hehehe~

    When I was teaching, I thought of the idea of HE in future for my children but looking at the children in school and having soOoo much “entertainment” settling children’s disputes and arguments, made me think that being in school has another purpose too – To have that environment to develop one’s social awareness and interpersonal relationship…

    I have to agree that children really learn more when they are HE but I just wonder if they are socially aware of how others think and behave? We are living in this world with millions of others and we really need to know how to interact with people around us~

    Does HE give that environment for children to have conflicts with each other… And to learn from these conflicts?

    I have so many experiences that children behave differently in front of their parents and in classes…

    I believe that being with many other children of different background makes school a great place for children to put in practice what they were taught by their parents…

    Children are always children in the eyes of the parents… But children are their individual self outside of their own family setting… They are the “little adults” in their own world and they can’t wait to show the world how they solve issues! =D

    To summarise, I agree that when doing HE, it is an introduction to the world by providing the theories of life… but children need to be expose to the world by being part of it and practice what they were taught by their parents in the real world…

    Just my view point~ =)

    W’salam,
    Khadijah C.

    • Ws wr wb

      Jzk for your comment sister. I actually think that HE does make them more socially aware because the parent paves the way for that awareness on a much deeper level and through different scenarios and not just in the playground. I used to dislike it when my daughter would be in the company of ‘naughty’ children. Now, I see it as a chance to discuss why these children do the things they do. And because she does interact with other children through outside activities, she does have conflicts sometimes and it is interesting to see how she deals with it. You see, one thing I feel I have to disagree with you on is that ‘children are their individual self outside of their own family setting’. I have seen many home educated children have a very strong sense of self and it is the same when with the family and when not with the family. I do feel that school actually pushes a child to have this sense of me at home and me at school.

      I think many people think that HE children do not interact with others. This is so wrong. They interact with others from all backgrounds and all ages which I think is a much better socialisation than just interacting with their peers.

  2. Assalaamu alaikum ukhti, that is soo true and its something I realized recently too.

    We need to use our influence over them when they are younger not only to protect them from the fitna but to prepare them for the decisions they will be making in this world, when we are not around to guide every single choice and decision.

    May Allah protect us from the fitna and purify our intentions

    Umm Imaan

    • Exactly sis! They will enter the world one day. And if all we have done is PROTECT PROTECT PROTECT, than we haven’t done out job properly at all.

    • Ws wr wb

      I think it stems from the fact that we do want to maintain the innocence of our kids, but then go to an extreme with it. Later on sisters cry not understanding why their son who was protected from everything now has a girlfriend or why their daughter has taken off her hijab! Allahu mustan.

  3. Asalaamu alaykum sis,

    I agree with your friend Alhamdulilah. Too often we as parents can become absorbed in protecting our children from the fitnah around us. It is easy to want to rap your arms around your little ones and to protect them from harm. But the reality is that we will not be able to do this forever. Sooner rather than later they will have to be individuals out side of the realm of our perfect little homes. Thus it is important to actively review ones actions in light of our intentions.

    What is our aim of home schooling? to have perefect little robots? or to produce children that will grow up to be strong, highly educated independant thinkers, who are comfortable with their identity, who realise the blessing of Islam upon their lives and who will thus strive to make differences in the lives of those around them.

    I pray that Allah helps and guides us in our journey to raise productive muslims and muslimahs, who Insha’Allah will grow up to be a coolness to our eyes.

    Wa alaykuma salaam
    Umm Fatimah

  4. Assalamu alaikum, I came across your blog today. My kids were at school but now they are being home educated. One of my (many) fears about home schooling was socialisation. How am I going to keep them in touch with the real world etc? Alhamdulillah I think they have more opportunities to learn about their world than they did at school (they were at an Islamic school). It’s wonderful to be able to take them out to meet people who aren’t necessarily muslim. I think you can have the ideal when home schooling. You can introduce your children to the world without having to hand them over as such. That’s so beautiful, mashaallah.

    • Ws wr wb

      I think we met at the thursday home ed group?? Yes, how true. We can introduce them from the correct understanding instead of the world educating them – if that makes sense!

  5. Asalaam alaikum sister
    I agree with that…and if we don’t teach them about the world,be sure someone else will and it may not be what they should know…. I came across a homeschool gif before and it said “I’ve seen the village and I don’t want it to raise my child, i homeschool”. It’s a spinoff of the famous saying “it takes a village to raise a child” I.e you can’t do it alone. Honestly I would rather do it alone and HS than have someone else do it for me inshaAllah 🙂 by the way uhkti, you are doing a wonderful job with your HS mashaAllah… I always come looking for ideas from you,no pressure lol

  6. Assalamualaykum,
    I think Khadijah C put the case well for how school can cause a rift between children and parents.

  7. as salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah this is a nice post I like reading the comments, this topic is always a lively one with many opinions. I have a seven year old and I current don’t homeschool but I always keep rethinking the decision whether to or not. I often wonder if children would just turn out the same either way, since they are still mainly learning how to treat others from their parents example. I dont have an answer to that but just something i think about..

  8. As sAlamualykum masha’ALlaah wonderful ideas, nice advice, jazakAllahukhairn. as for the socilization issue:
    A lot of ppl get confused. rememeber we were never at school to scoialize! we were there to learn. so we were not allowed to talk in class. we had a short time at lunch to eat, play and talk. that is why so many of us wanted to go to our friends houses after school on holidays etc. my children are also homeschooled alhumdullilah. mostly child led.
    i was having a dicussion about censorship with some sisters and they couldn’t understand why i was for it and they were against it. i think perhaps they thought i was being overly protective! but heres the thing, my children are learning about shrik, idol worship, they will learn about sex, marriage, they are learning about all sorts of things, BUT they are learning about it in the correct context, as in from the quran and sunnah. they are learniing about these things so theres no shock about it when they see it because they do see it all over the place. if we teach the halal and haram then they know whats ok and whats not so they know to stay away from it.
    we do meet non muslims and have activites with them etc then the children will ask all sorts of questions about everything alhumdullilah.
    Also from a very early age they get to make choices. would you like to eat an apple or pear? would you like it cut into quraters or into triangles? from these little choices they learn to become very independent. they are also learning about money as they get pocketmoney. they are learning to save, spend and give alhumdulilah. they have friends who are 2years old all the way through to ppl in there 20’s (as anyone over that is an auntie or uncle! but even with those older folk they feel comfortable enough to ask all sorts of questions alhumdullilah and most of the adults i know are happy to talk to them. alhumdullilah.)

    in the REAl world we are never expected to sit with 30 other ppl in our age group for long periods of time on a regular basis! as for conflict resolving! siblings have conflicts too. we need to learn to resolve it not referree it.

    plus everyone is part of the family and so everyone has jobs to do. learning is lifelong and homeschooling is for is living our life and insha’Allaah trying to live islam.

    • Ws wr wb

      Jzk for your comment sis. Really agreed with everything you said mashaAllah. I really like how you put it – would you mind if I share it on the forum?

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