This post is a bit off topic from home education but I feel the need to write about it. I sometimes get these urges to write about something on my mind, so do excuse me if it seems very random!
I’ve bumped into quite a few sisters recently who read this blog and don’t know me. And it is quite funny and quite strange that somehow I don’t seem to fit the ‘description’ of the person that they hold in their minds.
Two sisters thought I was white and were quite shocked that I wasn’t (!) lol (I’m actually mixed race – half white and half black) and others thought I was a really stern and strict person, not in the Islamic sense but more in my personality. It is interesting how we form initial ideas about one another. I’ve found over the last eleven years of being a Muslim that often sisters expect other sisters to behave and act in a certain way. Or to have fixed interests, likes and dislikes. And unfortunately, many of these sisters criticize others who don’t conform to this so-called ‘ideal muslimah’. I have heard many sisters over the years criticize sisters because they wear a certain hijab, or because their handbag is too fancy, or they shouldn’t allow their children to call them mama – it has to be ummi, that they aren’t allowed to read books other than Islamic books and the list goes on and on and on.
What I have learnt is that we just need to be ourselves. And if people don’t like it, well ‘who cares’. As long as it isn’t overstepping the limits of Islam, what’s wrong with sisters having unique personalities, interests and ways of doing things. I try to be myself as much as I can. And I think many sisters need to step away from the idea that the Muslimah has to be someone who has to be ‘depressed’ all the time. Sorry, but I have to say it. I really don’t like it when sisters look down on other sisters because they are having a good time or laughing. Do we need to be living our lives like zombies afraid to smile and afraid to enjoy ourselves and then equate this to having strong faith – the perfect Muslimah??!!
Yes, there is so much suffering in the world and yes, our muslim brothers and sisters are distressed. But there is a time for crying for the atrocities, there is a time to be angry towards the oppressors of this ummah for the sake of Allah, there is a time for being serious and there is a time to smile, laugh and be joyous. I can’t remember the hadith from the top of my head but I remember reading a hadith about the Prophet (saw) advising the sahabah that basically there is a time for this and a time for that as they were feeling guilty about laughing and enjoying their families.
So, sisters on a lighter note, I am just me. And if you bump into me and its one of those days where I can’t stop laughing my head off and I seem really wacky and somewhat insane, well, that just me. And if you bump into me and I have a very serious air about me then thats just me. A time for this and a time for that. And just some advice to us all. Just be yourselves and as long as you don’t cross the limits set by Allah nor take the rights of others, enjoy being you.
And this is why I start home educating because I want my children to be them and to be happy being them. Not to have to copy their peers in their hobbies, way of talking, dress or anything else for that matter.
Lol! If none of this post makes sense, then just ignore me (lol), like I said I just felt I needed to let this out!