One of those days…

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Those who have been following this blog since 2007 will know that everything is certainly not ‘hunky dorey’ here at ummihomeschoolsme! As you’ve journeyed with me over the years, we’ve had some fab days home edding and we’ve had some frustrating ones. And I also blog about my own personal journey sometimes and you’ve seen the highs and lows of that as well! Its funny because when I meet a sister and she has been a reader for sometime and we get talking and you hear a bit about them and they hear a bit about you, sisters tell me ‘Yeah, I know…yup, know that too – I read your blog!’ So, I guess theres no need for introductions as most know pretty much my life story!

Anyway, yesterday was one of those days… Monday night I aimed to go to bed roughly at 11pm. But have this horrible horrible horrible HORRIBLE linguistics essay to hand in tomorrow (ARGH!) and ended up going to sleep at 2am Tuesday morning after working on it and a few other things I had to do. As I managed to climb the stairs and get into bed, I thought to myself ‘It’s okay, I’ve got at least 3 solid hours of sleep til Fajr.’ But that didn’t happen. After 1.5 hours, baby Y was up for about an hour screaming (I think he’s teething) and wouldn’t go to sleep again. Then fajr rolled around and I couldn’t go back to sleep until about 7am and then woke up 7.45!

Tuesday was our weekly structured home ed group in East London. I really didn’t want to go but Monday, R had made her rainforest food to take in and she desperately wanted to go. So, I ran around like a mad woman getting all three of them dressed, packing her work and dish and managed to get out of the house at 8.45am. None of us had had breakfast otherwise we would have had been terribly late and so we had breakfast in the car! 😦

Got to the home ed group a bit late and it was nice as the children had a end of 4 term party with all the rainforest food they made. At the end of this, I then began to feel nauseous and quite sick – you know that sick feeling you get because you’re just drained physically and emotionally. It was at that point, when I felt that I should have followed my instincts and not gone!

A few of us were reprimanded for being late and at that point, I just felt like breaking down knowing what a struggle it was to get there. On my way home, I did break down and just sobbed and sobbed like a baby whilst my three were asleep in the car. It felt good to cry. As I cried and drove, I just asked myself ‘why do I do it all?’ Why can’t I just be one of those mothers who drop their kids off to school, pick them up at 3pm, and looks after the home and husband. NOTHING MORE!

But then I realised that not everyone is the same. I am me and that is how Allah has made me and has destined for me to do what I do. I just wanted to show you all that I have one of those days (quite a few in recent times!) and we all do, especially us home edders! But then as I write this, the sun is shining and today is another day!

What keeps me going is that this life is temporary and if I strive to work hard in this life, then maybe by Allah’s permission I’ll be able to rest in the next life…

Despite the not-s0-good day I had yesterday, the beauty about being a believer is knowing that yesterday has passed and tomorrow has not yet arrived, so all that matters is today. And as I said, today the sun is beautiful and shining mashaAllah!

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11 responses »

  1. Assalaamu Alaikum!

    Subhanallaah! May Allaah have Mercy upon you sis. I really understand what you mean. You are correct we all have this kind of days but hope in Allaah makes it easy for us, Alhamdulillaah! When I do go through this I remind myself, what I am going through is nothing comparing to the hardship and trials the Companions radhiyallaahu anhuma went through! And the more hardship the more rewards! So this is indeed a glad-tidings to the believer and I sincerely hope and pray that Allaah gives you the best in this world and in the Aakhirah! Aameen!

  2. As salaamu ‘alaikum Sis,

    Ameen to what Maimoonah said! Hang in there – your experience is heartfelt. I certainly know what those days are like. InshaALLAH you have many, many more good days to overshadow the bad, Ameen.

  3. Assalaamu alayki sister,

    Ameen on the dua of Maimoonah and Nakia! I think everyone of us has had those days, and is still having them! Sometimes it’s just too much on one day! May Allah make everything easy for us all, and keep us reminding the trials of the Sahabah (radiAllahu ‘anhum)Ameen!

  4. aaaaah sis I had one of those days yesterday aswell so i know what you mean. Insha’allah May Allah swt give us strength and patience to keep going and may we be able to live according to his deen completely insha’allah.

  5. AA wr wb. This used to happen to me more often when my third was very little and breastfeeding. But once she turned 2 and stopped breastfeeding and became very independent, that made my life bit easier. I still have break downs and sleepless nights but I cant blame my little ones for doing this to me anymore, it s usually my own poor organization and doing things late. So may Allah give you sabr, it will be inshA very soon when you can have some more peace when all three of your kids will be playing and telling you ” Mom , we are playing , so dont come to our room and distrurb us” lol . Thats what I hear now sometimes and think, very soon they will grow and marry and leave my house so I should enjoy it too, and i just jump in and play dolls house and farm animals tooo 🙂

  6. Assalamualaykum,
    Be one of those who drops off their kids and looks after the home and husband and NOTHING MORE?
    Can’t see that ever happening!!!!! INSHALLAH, MAASHALLAH!

  7. Assalaumu alikum,
    well Allah knows best the intention of the mothers who are droping of their children to school and dont do NOTHING MORE than looking after the house and husband. Sometimes it’s easy to judg people!!!
    May Allah help us all and guide us along the straight path, ameen

  8. assalaamu alaikum may Allaah make this our home ed easy for us and may ALLAAH make us to always direct our intentions for His sake AAMEEN.
    YES some days one just feel that things are falling apart when this happen one has to strive hard to make a lot of zikr,saying subhanallaah,walhamdulillaah wa laa ilaaha illaah, wallaah Akbar.

  9. Salam.
    I really feel for you. I follow off and on when i can and always am inspired by those who do speak abou tthe bad days. All parents have bad days even the school ones but for homeschoolers they gotta suck it up and put on a smiley face when someone asks about Homeschooling and “STRUCTURE” etc… You gotta act like everything is Roses otehrwise they blame HOMESCHOOLING and your BAD DESCISIONS in raising your children as the reason for the “bad day”.
    UGH!!!!
    I mean sometimes you just wanna blurt out
    “My daughter memorized every song in a Barbie Movie today when she watched it 13 times in a row because I had a zillion things to do and she was being stubborn so I took a mental health day for us both!”

    Oops guess i just did…. ahhhh i feel better….thanks for the ranting space, should get my own blog eh? oh wait, I do have one, but can’t rant there…gotta keep the in-laws happy who snoop there about the joys of homeschooling!

    😀 I hope you have more GOOD days 😀

  10. As salamu alaikum sis
    I really enjoy reading your blogs masha’Allah. Many a times I wanted to comment but this time I have to insha’Allah, just to show the other side as well…I think you didn’t mean it in the way it came across insha’Allah.
    I just wanted to show how a parent sending their child to school might have difficult days (weeks) and similar thoughts:
    I used to home ed but for various reasons it didn’t work out, now I have my children in 3 different muslim schools and need to work in between in order to finance it. Their lessons start as early as 7:30 am to learn Hifdh and it takes a 45 min round trip by car to drop them and two journeys in the afternoons to pick them. On top of that I need to prepare 5 packed lunches every day. It is not easy and similar thoughts come into mind of how easy it would be to take them to local school with lunches provided………………………… the time to shop, cook and clean, etc. but alhamdulillah then we remind ourselves with our good intentions and this is what makes us see this through day after day.

    May Allah swt accept all our intentions for our children, home schooling or not.

    wa alaikum salam
    Ummukhamsa

  11. Asalam alaikum sis am glad you shared this because i have always wondered how you homedders coped with days like this. I wish to homeschool one day but days like this makes me think that it’s not possible for me.

    May Allaaah(SWT) strengthen you, keep your intention pure and your reward is with Allaah(SWT) amin

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