After a full comeback to home ed, we’re going to be taking a premature break as my mother is arriving from abroad today for the next 10 days. We’re all very excited as we haven’t seen her since Y was only a few days old (so over 1.5 years ago). We’re extra excited as my Mum has been reading about Islam again. Please make dua that Allah gives her hidaayah.
It’s strange because when R was 3-4 years old, I would have been really stressed out that we were taking a break so early into the ‘school’ year. But things have changed/are changing in my home ed way of thinking.
I remember when R was 3/4 years old and the amount of ‘school’ she did in a day. Back then, I felt quite defensive when sisters would tell me ‘She’s so young etc’. But now, I actually look back and cringe. When I read sisters blogs or read emails about sisters who have children under the age of 4/5 and they are sooo structured with them it makes me feel sad and I actually sometimes well up with tears thinking about what was lost with R during that time.
I guess this has come about from experience in home ed, and also thinking about the end in mind. This weekend, I attended part 2 of a Parenting Course by Sister Rahma Abdulatif. It was amazing mashaAllah and I can see where I have gone wrong in so many ways as a parent. But alhamdulillah, as long as I am breathing and living, there is always room for change and room for improvement.
A few things that I took away were:
- I do not own my children, they are a trust from Allah. My job is to nurture them and raise them well so that they become secure happy adults who worship Allah with love, fear and hope.
- All of my children are different. There are 3 temperaments to children: Easy, Difficult and Slow to Warm Up. I now can see that all of my three children fall into different categories and so parenting them in the same way will NEVER work.
- Too many children who had parents who had high expectations of them really suffer as adults – this is something I need to work on with R.
- My ‘difficult child’ is Z and he needs a lot of love, attention and positivity.
- Motherhood is a huge responsibility but one of the most rewarding roles we as women can ever take on.
There is so much more I took away and I’m sure I’ll remember bits as I post.
Sisters, we have a heavy amanah and as home educators, we have an even greater responsibility. Teaching them Math, English, Quran, Arabic etc is just a part of it. We are moulding these children, they were vessels filled with fitrah – it is our job to nurture that fitrah.
May Allah aid us all on this wonderful journey of motherhood. Ameen.