Today, I feel relieved.

We woke up – R did Arabic and Math and English and baby Y was biting EVERYONE! I did a little work with Z and read to him and baby Y was still biting everyone. The sun was calling us to go outside and so around 11.30am, I decided to get the kids dressed and we headed off to a nearby park – they played, ran and laughed and I sat and observed them all and almost cried. I am constantly evaluating and reviewing my home ed, the content; the style etc.

I have two boys who are very active mashaAllah and who need to be out every day to get it out of their system. And I have a 7 year old daughter to home ed. Its often difficult to balance it all and then I wonder if I ever really am doing anything right at all. I have ‘moments’ like this and then it seems that Allah, The Most Merciful answers my duas in the most perfect way.

I spoke with a sister today (you know who you are sis and may Allah truly bless you! Ameen) and as she was listening to me (I wasn’t even making sense to myself) she started to suggest certain ways I could change the way I do things and it was like a light bulb moment for me and I seriously felt a huge sense of relief!

For me, Iwas able to ‘re-realise’:

  • Home ed is not school at home
  • Home ed does not mean you have to do each lesson in order from lesson 1 to lesson 30 until you finish a text book.
  • Home ed can mean that I can skip huge chunks in a curriculum or even a whole year (I did this wtih English this year).
  • When taking it at the above pace and method it frees up more time to have quality home ed rather than quantity-type home ed
  • Home educating this way means I have more time to follow my child’s interests and more time with the little ones.
  • It takes away the stress and anxiety of home ed for me and the children
  • I and mychildren are free to move at a unique and individual pace

Perhaps you are already following such a method, perhaps this all makes sense to you already but for me it really was a light bulb moment and I hope will change the course of our home ed inshaAllah.

So, it means:

No more weekly planning – instead will plan the night before for the next day based on what happened the previous day (what she was interested in, weak at, good at)

Relief. Relief. Relief. 🙂








30 responses »

  1. Salam sister,

    learning from experience is a best way of learning. We all learning from small things to big things. You had enable yourself to go through things, see through things and change thing. Subhana Allah…experienc eis always the best way to learn, but to be able to learn quickly from experience and able to take the note and change and moved is excellent. Wish you all the best…and don’t worry if the time come when you feel like you will need some advance can always mix and match…

  2. Masha Allaah sounds great! Now sis you want to basically do things that interests her. One question, will you still have a framework what you need to achieve that particular year?

    • No sis – I think you misunderstood my post. We won’t just do things that interest her. I still expect her to do Math, Arabic, English, Quran etc but its the ‘way’ we do them that will change. No more having to stick to a ‘lesson 1, then lesson 2, then lesson 3 format to the end.’. It will be a lot more flexible based on her – her strengths and weaknesses. Ie, if she can do year 3 English now why should I make her do year 2 english (which I didn’t this year). And also, I am focussing more on quality of such lessons than quantity. So its not about finishing a curriculum, but rather choosing the things that will challenge her etc. As for what I want her to achieve that year – I know what subjects she needs to do that year but what is liberating is what she needs to achieve now becomes flexible as she may surpass it and she may not – again its very individualistic and tailored to her needs. Eg, she may complete her Math in a few months and not need to do it for the rest of the year, or she may need to do it for more than that year. Hope that makes sense.

  3. Assalamu alaykum,
    may allah always give you such relive like he gave it to you today and jzk for sharing your thoughts ,as i learnt alot from sisters blogs like you and the ihsan forum.
    this is what i use to do a year ago it was a bit stressful and not much joyfull but then a sister told me that i don’t have to do everything thats in the studybooks instead i can choose and do as much as my child is happy with ,i used thought that i have to do it like school, everything thats in the books and in order and that makes just stress.
    but now allahamdulliah i have learnt lot and i do just one or 2 day planning and let them choose as much as they are happy with the work.i always remind my self that HOME SCHOOLING IS NOT SCHOOL AT HOME!

  4. Okay. I understood now, masha Allaah. Yes I like it that way too. It happened to me this year as well. For example I thought of doing some of English with may daughter, but she is capable of doing more. So I let her do it. I understand what you mean. Indeed this will be stress free and child friendly. Hope to see your updates on your changes Insha Allaah! Jazzakillaah Khayr for sharing! May Allaah give you success! Aameen!

    • Sorry to trouble sis, just wanted to ask you how is the Islaamic Studies Curriculum going with R? Do you like it and are you continuing it? Any pros and cons? Please do share, am just thinking of starting that curriculum next year Insha Allaah!

      • No not continuing it as I feel that Islamic Studies is by action and practical means and we discuss and learn as and when we do. I don’t think it can be limited to a text book.

  5. Asalamualaikum
    Your post reminds me of something a sister said at a home-ed meeting…”It’s not the lessons completed that are the goal but that learning has taken place”. Whats the point of just going down a tick-list of tasks (as much as we like to tick off lists) if quality has not been achived.
    Jazakallahkhair for your thoughts. It’s given me lots of things to think about.

  6. MashaAllah, I read somewhere that over 90% of home educating families eventually fall into a semi structured method of schooling and I think that’s true however, we all have to make our own journey, full of trials and errors, to get to that point. Mabrook on choosing this way I believe it will be a lot less stressful for you inshaAllah and I personally love it! Although, I still have to keep reminding myself of how great it is when I see the worked churned out by my structured home educating friends and end up feeling really inadequate LOL! May Allah ta’Ala bless your new path and give you success in it. Wassalaam.

  7. Essalam Alaikum, Just curious as to how you notify or even if you have to where you live? I mean, if you skip stuff how do you get around testing? Jazakallahu Khair

    • No, we don’t need to notify anyone where we live. I don’t believe in testing until GCSE level and there are always mock exams for that alhamdulillah.

  8. Assalamo alaikum,

    I can tell you home ed is definately the cream of the crop! You know how many times i’ve had *moments* (cough cough!) but my kids are in school here and I HATE it. I thought I would really enjoy more time to myself but I’m not, the kids have to learn so much silly irrelevant stuff that doesn’t interest/benefit them, and then come the hours of homework every night. I seriously feel like I’ve lost them 😦 Alhamdulillah this is only a temporary thing, otherwise I think I’d go into a deep depression. Home ed is like a bug, once it’s in the system it’s very hard to shake off, lol!

  9. mashALLAH you have truly given some very good naseehah, i was too involved in following a curriculum but feel that it seems to leave everything else out as there is not enough time for absolutely everything, as you stated home educating is def not bringing school in the home but its about your child and them learing in a productive yet fun way all at there pace, i am doing some topic work but covering for various subjects and also for 3 different ages, its hard trying to prepare the material, alhamdulillah there are many resources available (at times this becomes bit difficult in gathering) never the less manage to do it, when you are determined to do something with the guidance of our lord alhamdulillah he makes a way of everything, i am so pleased you have shared this its a great help for me, may we all suceed in this long journey of home educating.
    umm humayra

  10. definitely agree there is flexibility in home educating mashALLAH, you follow an approach if it suits you and most importantly your child(ren) stick to it, if you think change is required then change, its all trial and error, and its not like children are losing out in learning they are still inshALLAH learning so much.we still do everyday maths and english if we do not follow the books i will randomly still go through something, and we still use work books, maybe at this stage things bit more simpler as its only early years, ks1 and ks 2 that i am covering who knows it may get more difficult in which case may then try a different approach, we do worry but we overcome all these situations, they are testing no doubt but alhamdilallah by the will of ALLAH we overcome them and for the better inshALLAH. InshALLAH this method you choose for your children works well for you all.

  11. As salaam alaikum Ummsalam,

    Sorry to hear about their negative school experience. I think you are right though. Once you get a taste of homeschooling (not necessarily school at home though), you are always a homeschooler at heart!

  12. MASHAALLAH may ALLAH make it easy for you and us all, may u b rewarded good for sharing your thoughts and ideas, it helps many of us, and yeah take each day as it comes is the best way, as long as u know what u want to achieve.

    Was just wondering how do u manage to update us all on regular basis and deal with all u have to deal with, I mean daily house chores, kids, teaching…… the list is massive, for me the list is vey big, that is why am wondering, MASHAALLAH MASHAALLAH MASHAALLAH.


  13. Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahi wabarakatuh sister,

    TabarakAllah, I have been searching for information on home ed and obviously am feeling a bit overwhelmed with the vast information available on the Internet!

    I have a 2 year old toddler whom I intend to homeschool and am scrambling for lesson plans / curriculum to start off with … just so that it becomes a structured approach.

    I am utterly grateful to Allah S.W.T for coming across your blog as I now know that it needn’t be structured (and obviously avoid myself from getting stressed out!) as you’ve laid out TONS of tips that helps alleviate that anxiety for first time mothers like me who decides to homeschool their child.

    SubahanAllah … may Allah grant you goodness for all the effort you’ve put in to share useful information on your blog. May HE bless you and your wonderful family, Insya Allah, on dunya and the Hereafter, Amin Amin Ya Rabbal ‘Alamin!

    Warm regards,
    Super Simple SAHM 🙂
    Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

    • Walaikum assalam wa Rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu

      Awww sister, mashaAllah I’m so happy that it has helped you. I do like reading such comments as it pushes me to continue as sometimes I feel like blogging is too much etc. May Allah reward you for your message and Ameen to your duas.

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