They grow so fast..

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I came across a poem a year or so ago shared by a fellow home educating sister. Today, I was sifting through some old notebooks and came across it again and can’t remember if I shared it or not. Well, here it is:

“I hope that my child

Looking back on today

Remembers a Mother who had time to play

Children grow up while you are not looking

There’ll be years ahead for cleaning and cooking

So hush now cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I am home educating my children, and children don’t keep”. (I changed the last line to fit in with home ed).

Home Ed is no easy task and sometimes we may lose sight of what is important and get caught up in trying to keep the house tidy and clean, and everything pristine in full working order. But we need to remember that these little people who were born with fitrah are an amanah from Allah to us and we need to return them to Him in the best possible way. May Allah keep us focussed on what is important and not get preoccupied with that which really isn’t important for them or for us – in dunya and in akhirah. Ameen.

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10 responses »

  1. Hi sister! You inspire me so much! I wish to practise the same like you. Gosh, how I envy this. Please pray that I can do the same to all my children. Keep on writing. May Allah Bless You Always!

    • Thank you for your message sister. Please don’t forget to say mashaAllah and remember that no one’s life is perfect. I may be passionate about home ed but believe me I have many many bad days and it is a real struggle.

  2. Assalamu alaykum sister,

    I agree that children are amanah from Allah(swt).

    However, Allah said that He created us to worship Him(swt). He gave us different ibadaat and some are more excellent and rewarding than others.

    He entrusted us with children to make worshippers of them. They were already born upon fitra and our job is to keep it pure and show them and later teach them how to live Islam. One cannot show and teach Islam if they don’t worship and don’t learn. If one looks at ahadith where children are mentioned they will see that children in the time of Muhammad(saw) used to play. They would witness a society living Islam and this was their first lesson. Later they would learn in halaqaat in the mosque.

    My point is that home education as we understand it as a concept of the kuffar. it is true that we should teach our kids Arabic, Quran and Islam but this is basically it. Our main duty is to worship. Prayer and seeking knowledge, dua and dhikr are pretty important ibadaat. If one focuses on them children will have a pretty good idea of how a Muslim should live. House work and cooking are neccessary as soon as it doesn’t make one neglect their salah

    • Ws, jzk for your comment sister. Not sure how it is related to my post (my post was simply stating that cleaning and cooking shouldn’t be more important than raising our children and as you rightly said – shouldn’t be more important than our individual worship), but very good points nonetheless mashaAllah. I think it is important though not to generalise ‘that home education as we understand it as a concept of the kuffar’. Each family is unique and their way of home edding may actually be in their eyes a means of worship and it is not necessarily the case that they are home educating like non-Muslims. And in my personal opinion, I take what is good and leave what is bad and I have no problem in saying that my home ed is a mixture of both but my intention in doing so – then that is where it differs and inshaAllah is very much in line with seeking Allah’s pleasure. And so, when our intention is correct, something like teaching Math and English can become a form of worship in itself. I disagree with you in that worship like ‘dhikr, dua, reading Quran, studying Arabic, learning Islam, commanding maroof and forbidding munkar etc. one will neglect much of the above if they spend most of the time teaching their kids math, English and science.’ I believe both the academics and these things can be taught at the same time without either suffering. For me and my family, Islam is life and is not text book Islam. It is living and saying the correct adhkar when it is due, praying at the correct stated times with khushoo, reading Quran daily, relieving people of difficulties etc etc. It doesnt necessarily mean that because someone pursues the academics that they are neglecting their learning of Islam. What is important to me as an individual (I don’t want to impose my views on anyone) is that inshaAllah I focus on my own ibadah so that my children learn by seeing my example. Ultimately, I think what is important is really focussing on what we can do within our own families and within ourselves. I remember a Sheikh saying ‘Allah is The Most Just, and we should fear Him as much as we can (ie do as much as we are capable of doing). We will only be judged according to our abilities. We are all on a journey – a journey to Allah and I personally hope that on yawm ul qiyamah, my work with my children will earn me great pleasure in the sight of Allah – with every letter learned, every addition made, every time I corrected my children’s wudu, every ayat they learned, even teaching them about horses! ๐Ÿ™‚ It all lies in intention for verily actions are but by intentions. May Allah help us all along this path called LIFE and also as Mothers. Ameen.

  3. dhikr, dua, reading Quran, studying Arabic, learning Islam, commanding maroof and forbidding munkar etc.

    But one will neglect much of the above if they spend most of the time teaching their kids math, English and science. Our obligation is to keep them Muslims and reach them how to worship through example and halaqa.

    I feel in UK we took a path which is a bit different than what Allah asks from us. I have been reading and thinking recently about the priorities. My conclusion was that my first priority is my Deen. Only part of my ibaada is looking after my kids and educating them to be Muslims. Nothing more. Part is my house and cooking. Big, important part are my prayer, Quran reading, studying, studying Arabic, Hadith, dhikr dua, etc.

    I realised that children although shouldn’t be neglected, shouldn’t also distract us from being worshippers. Housework shouldn’t be seen as more important than salah and so on.

    I have just recently texted sisters a reminder I would like to post here too inshaAllah.

    Tafsir Ibn katir Surah Al Kahf 46: “๏ดฟุงู„ู’ู…ูŽุงู„ู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุจูŽู†ููˆู†ูŽ ุฒููŠู†ูŽุฉู ุงู„ู’ุญูŽูŠูŽูˆุฉู ุงู„ุฏูู‘ู†ู’ูŠูŽุง๏ดพ

    (Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world.) This is like the Ayah:

    ๏ดฟุฒููŠูู‘ู†ูŽ ู„ูู„ู†ูŽู‘ุงุณู ุญูุจูู‘ ุงู„ุดูŽู‘ู‡ูŽูˆูŽุชู ู…ูู†ูŽ ุงู„ู†ูู‘ุณูŽุขุกู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุจูŽู†ููŠู†ูŽ ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ู‚ูŽู†ูŽู€ุทููŠุฑู ุงู„ู’ู…ูู‚ูŽู†ุทูŽุฑูŽุฉู ู…ูู†ูŽ ุงู„ุฐูŽู‘ู‡ูŽุจู๏ดพ

    (Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women, children, vaulted hoards of gold…) ๏ดฟ3:14๏ดพ. Allah says:

    ๏ดฟุฅูู†ูŽู‘ู…ูŽุข ุฃูŽู…ู’ูˆูŽู„ููƒูู…ู’ ูˆูŽุฃูŽูˆู’ู„ูŽู€ุฏููƒูู…ู’ ููุชู’ู†ูŽุฉูŒ ูˆูŽุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุนูู†ู’ุฏูŽู‡ู ุฃูŽุฌู’ุฑูŒ ุนูŽุธููŠู…ูŒ ๏ดพ

    (Your wealth and your children are only a trial, whereas Allah! With Him is a great reward (Paradise).) ๏ดฟ64:15๏ดพ turning towards Allah and worshipping Him is better for you than keeping busy with them, and accumulating wealth for them and going to extremes in feeling pity and compassion for them. Allah says:

    ๏ดฟูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุจูŽู€ู‚ููŠูŽุงุชู ุงู„ุตูŽู‘ู€ู„ูุญูŽุงุชู ุฎูŽูŠู’ุฑูŒ ุนูู†ุฏูŽ ุฑูŽุจูู‘ูƒูŽ ุซูŽูˆูŽุงุจู‹ุง ูˆูŽุฎูŽูŠู’ุฑูŒ ุฃูŽู…ูŽู„ุงู‹๏ดพ

    (But the good righteous deeds that last, are better with your Lord for reward and better for hope.) Ibn `Abbas, Sa`id bin Jubayr and others among the Salaf said that the good righteous deeds that last are the five daily prayers. `Ata’ bin Abi Rabah and Sa`id bin Jubayr narrated from Ibn `Abbas, “The good righteous deeds that last are `Subhan Allah (glory be to Allah)’, `Al-Hamdu Lillah (praise be to Allah)’, `La ilaha illallah (there is none worthy of worship except Allah)’, and `Allahu Akbar (Allah is Most Great).'” The Commander of the faithful, `Uthman bin `Affan was questioned, “Which are the good righteous deeds that last” He replied, “They are: `La ilaha illallah, Subhan Allah, Al-Hamdu Lillah, Allahu Akbar and La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah hil-`Aliyil-`Azim (there is no strength and no power except with Allah the Exalted, the Almighty).”’ This was recorded by Imam Ahmad. Imam Ahmad also recorded from a freed slave of the Messenger of Allah that he said:

    ยซุจูŽุฎู ุจูŽุฎู ู„ูุฎูŽู…ู’ุณู ู…ูŽุง ุฃูŽุซู’ู‚ูŽู„ูŽู‡ูู†ูŽู‘ ูููŠ ุงู„ู’ู…ููŠุฒูŽุงู†ู: ู„ูŽุง ุฅูู„ูŽู‡ูŽ ุฅูู„ูŽู‘ุง ุงู„ู„ู‡ู ูˆูŽุงู„ู„ู‡ู ุฃูŽูƒู’ุจูŽุฑูุŒ ูˆูŽุณูุจู’ุญูŽุงู†ูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‡ูุŒ ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุญูŽู…ู’ุฏู ู„ู„ู‡ูุŒ ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ูˆูŽู„ูŽุฏู ุงู„ุตูŽู‘ุงู„ูุญู ูŠูุชูŽูˆูŽููŽู‘ู‰ ููŽูŠูŽุญู’ุชูŽุณูุจูู‡ู ูˆูŽุงู„ูุฏูู‡ู ูˆูŽู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ: ุจูŽุฎู ุจูŽุฎู ู„ูุฎูŽู…ู’ุณู ู…ูŽู†ู’ ู„ูŽู‚ููŠูŽ ุงู„ู„ู‡ูŽ ู…ูุณู’ุชูŽูŠู’ู‚ูู†ู‹ุง ุจูู‡ูู†ูŽู‘ ุฏูŽุฎูŽู„ูŽ ุงู„ู’ุฌูŽู†ูŽู‘ุฉูŽ: ูŠูุคู’ู…ูู†ู ุจูุงู„ู„ู‡ู ูˆูŽุงู„ู’ูŠูŽูˆู’ู…ู ุงู„ู’ุขุฎูุฑูุŒ ูˆูŽุจูุงู„ู’ุฌูŽู†ูŽู‘ุฉู ูˆูŽุงู„ู†ูŽู‘ุงุฑูุŒ ูˆูŽุจูุงู„ู’ุจูŽุนู’ุซู ุจูŽุนู’ุฏูŽ ุงู„ู’ู…ูŽูˆู’ุชูุŒ ูˆูŽุจูุงู„ู’ุญูุณูŽุงุจยป

    (Well done! Well done for five things! (How heavy they will weigh in the balance! “La ilaha illallah, Allahu Akbar, Subhan Allah, and Al-Hamdu Lillah,” and a righteous son who dies and his parents seek the reward of Allah.) And he said: (Well done! Well done for five things! Whoever meets Allah believing in them, he will enter Paradise; if he believes in Allah, the Last Day, Paradise and Hell, resurrection after death, and the Reckoning).

    ๏ดฟูˆูŽุงู„ู’ุจูŽู€ู‚ููŠูŽุงุชู ุงู„ุตูŽู‘ู€ู„ูุญูŽุงุชู๏ดพ

    (the good righteous deeds that last, ) `Ali bin Abi Talhah reported that Ibn `Abbas said, “This is the celebration of the remembrance of Allah, saying `La ilaha illallah, Allahu Akbar, Subhan Allah, Al-Hamdu Lillah, Tabarak Allah, La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah, Astaghfirallah, Sallallahu `ala Rasul-Allah’, and fasting, prayer, Hajj, Sadaqah (charity), freeing slaves, Jihad, maintaining ties of kinship, and all other good deeds. These are the righteous good deeds that last, which will remain in Paradise for those who do them for as long as heaven and earth remain.” Al-`Awfi reported from Ibn `Abbas: “They are good words.” `Abdur-Rahman bin Zayd bin Aslam said, “They are all righteous deeds.” This was also the view chosen by Ibn Jarir, may Allah have mercy on him.”

    Wassalamu alaykum

  4. Asalam alaikum sis,
    JazakhaAllah Khair for the much needed reminder. I found myself falling into the trap of doing other household chores when my daughter was younger now Alhamdulilah I try to do them when she is asleep, also in terms of cooking I try to find recipes that only take half an hour to prepare. would you mind if i shared your reminder on my facebook account?

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