Mother’s Mental Health

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I have been meaning to post about this as it is something I feel is quite important for mothers generally but possibly moreso for home educating mothers.

The mother’s mental health is so important not only for herself but also for her children. If the mother is happy, mentally healthy and strong within her faith and closeness to Allah then this will no doubt have a great effect on the children. The opposite is also true and you find children are suffering due to the emotional abuse they see and experience from their mothers.

I think it is so important that we constantly check if we are feeling okay, whether our relationship with Allah is strong. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the everyday monotony of cleaning bottoms, teaching, cooking and cleaning that we forget ourselves. What good will we be to others if we don’t look after ourselves?! And doubly important, how can we safeguard our emaan and look after it and strengthen it, if we don’t give time to do the ibadah that softens the heart for Allah.

There always has to be a time for this and a time for that. I am probably the worst culprit when it comes to looking after myself but for the past few months, I have really tried to take out time for me so that I am refreshed again. And isn’t our religion wonderful – a dear Sheikh here in London said (paraphrasing): “When we take time out for recreational activities to relax, if we have the intention that we are doing this so that we are ready and rejuvenated to worship Allah again (salah, raising children, sadaqa, quran, visiting relatives etc) then that leisurely time becomes an active of worship.” SubhanAllah!

So, sisters lets look after ourselves. Even if it means taking that long 1 hour soak in the bath once a week with wonderful lush shower gel or it means we take just 15 minutes a day to really let our souls absorb the wonders of the Quran then lets do it.

We’ll inshaAllah get reward, feel refreshed to ‘carry on’, and things might actually seem easier. Its a win win situation! Don’t neglect your mental health and your emaan!

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3 responses »

  1. As salaam alaikum,

    I’m really glad you posted this, maashaa Allah. I used to feel so guilty about giving time to myself. It was hard to even give myself permission to relax and enjoy life. I think this is very typical of us mothers who are high achievers and who also have very high expectations for our children as well as ourselves. I have to give up the notion that I can be a perfect Muslim, perfect mother, perfect wife, etc.

    It is essential to take guilt free time for yourself. As you probably have gathered, I have started taking more time for myself within the last couple of months. Yes, this means that the children won’t complete as much as before, but it all equals out. My husband was getting very concerned with my mental health and it was a pretty desperate situation. Sometimes, you have to go back in order to move forward.

  2. Sometimes less is more, but its a lesson we all have to learn. I am into my third year of homeschooling and we are so much more relaxed. Its true we Mums who homeschool are usually high achievers, but to achieve we have to relax sometimes to feel the grace of God, sit in the garden, just quiet time to listen to God. I am getting better at guilt free time for myself, as its imperative for all Mums whether they homeschool or not. We have been blessed with these children and if we are refreshed we are able to give what is required wrapped in love.

  3. Assalamu Alaikum Umm Raiyaan,

    May Allah bless you and your family to be well and in strong iman.

    I was directed to your blog by Sister Atiyya Gardee. I’m happy to have found it, as it has some interesting articles, such as the one above titled, Mothers Mental Health.

    I’m writing because I would like to know if you would be interested in us guest hosting one anothers articles on our blogs. My website is related to parenting issues. I think your readers might fight some of my articles of value. And I’m certain, insha’Allah, my readers could benefit from your articles such as Mothers Mental Health posted above. Also, if you would like to to write a review of my ebook or host me for a question and answer session, I’d be most appreciative. Your readers would benefit from it as well, insha’Allah. The ebook is titled: Discipline without Disrespecting: Discover the Hidden Secrets of How to Effectively Disicpline Your Muslim Child–And Keep Your Peace of MInd While at It.

    Thank you and Jazakalakhair for your time and consideration,

    Your Sister in Islam,
    Sister Rose (Grandma Jeddah)

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