Zuzu is Z’s nickname. It came about when we were in Algeria – my brother in law called him Zuzu when he was about 6 weeks old and it has stuck with us ever since. 🙂
I feel somewhat emotional writing this post and wallahi the tears are forming. Motherhood isn’t easy – in fact its the hardest job anyone can ever do. And it is particularly trying when you have a challenging child. I think Zuzu was a shock to me as he is the complete opposite to his sister. He is demanding, emotional, stubborn, strong minded and will argue his point of view and yes all at the tender age of not even 4! He is who he is and I have finally realised that I cannot change him but nurture his good qualities and work with what I have and that is his unique personality mashaAllah.
I have been advised by many sisters that he will change as he gets older – they told me that when he was 2. Two years on and he is the same old Zuzu. His strong personality has often made me cry – wondering if he would be better off in school. There have been times where he has driven me absolutely angry mad where I really wonder what I’m doing wrong. I have cried to Allah, made so much dua for him that he will turn out okay and that Allah shows me the best way to handle his strong character. SubhanAllah, since the last part of my pregnancy with him (3 week pre-labour of 2-3 min contractions apart!) he has been my test.
Sometimes we look at people and we think that everything is rosy but we do not know the struggles people go through behind closed doors. Every mother wants the best for their child and every mother hopes that their child will grow up to be a good rounded indivdual. As Muslims, our aspirations for our children are even greater.
It has been a struggle with Zuzu and there have been many times where I have pondered as to how he will turn out. But this week – something has changed – I’ve had a breakthrough with him.
I don’t know whether its because I have consciously spent more time with him or whether it is the answer to my duas. Only Allah knows. But this week, I have seen a MASSIVE change in my son. He is speaking a lot more, asking more questions, understanding what I’m saying more and smiling and making us all roll over in laughter. He has become a very affectionate little boy and not the terror I thought he was.
This week, he has shown qualities I never knew existed. Tuesday, he had his second swimming lesson (he’s never had any lesson prior to this) and he shocked us all by going under the water and picking up a rod from the bottom of the swimming pool floor. The teacher came and spoke to me afterwards and commented on how hard he tries. Other children takes weeks and months. I couldn’t believe she was talking about my Zuzu – who I thought would struggle with anything.
And then, this week I started to teach him some phonics. I was amazed at how quickly he was learning his sounds, how much he enjoyed doing the fun activities with me and it made a huge difference to how he was during those days. Don’t get me wrong – he still has his moments especially with his little brother but something has changed mashaAllah.
I feel terrible for how I have labelled him. I now see my son, Zuzu, as a child who is different, unique with amazing potential. I guess its down to me as his Mum to help him with his potential and to bring out his best qualities. I often feel very guilty as a Mum – I think all mothers do. I have often felt particularly guilty about how I am with Zuzu but he said something to me a few days ago which made me smile. He said, ‘Ummi, you’re the best in the world!’ I really hope by approaching him in the best possible way that would be good for HIM will make me just that – the best Ummi for my children.
Here is my Zuzu’s week of home ed: