This blog has been running since 2007 and it is my way of documenting this home ed journey of ours as well as hopefully being a source of help to others.
Last night, I was at a sisters get together and happened to check my phone (I receive emails on it) and came across a very harsh comment from my last post from a sister who remained ‘anonymous’. Constructive criticism is one thing but this was something else. I’m sure the sister is reading this post and perhaps it will make you think twice about sending such comments. The comment read:
Assalamu alaykum, sis. I can’t believe you would do this to your children. It’s breaking my heart just reading about your little one crying over Skype. A mother should take care of her kids. I would feel so guilty and heartless doing this. I just hope this separation doesn’t adversely affect them psychologically.
Upon reading it, I shared it with all the sisters at the get together as to be honest I was quite shocked that someone would write such a thing without a) knowing me and b) the circumstances completely. I was wondering how I should deal with it and so here I am blogging about it (writing about something helps me take it out of mind and then I move on)
And so I’m going to say this: How can anyone judge someone and say that by letting them go to visit their family thus keeping ties of kinship is heartless. You do not know the circumstances of my family and why I remained with my youngest. Different cultures do different things and perhaps you may want to read up a little on the seerah/life of the pious predecessors in that it was normal to send their children out to the desert for tarbiyyah for many months. Letting my children go for 4 weeks was not easy but they are with their father and other family members who love them dearly. It was natural for my Z to cry when seeing me but he was very quick to say ‘Salaam’ and rush off laughing to play with his cousins – such are children. I have absolutely no fear whatsoever that they will be psychologically affected by a great experience in beautiful mountains with their blood relatives who love them. It is me who it is finding it hard and not them.
Right, with that said, the sisters advised me yesterday (I am glad I read this comment around good sisters) I am the type of person who is very open and pours her heart out – and the sisters said perhaps I am too open on my blog. And yes, I think they are right. I just don’t know how else to blog – its my style. But, it is at times like this where I feel that perhaps making the blog private is better.
Anyway, I’m glad I got that off my chest. It has also made me reflect on how what I say could really be hurtful to someone else and so I take lesson from this and will try to keep my mouth shut unless there is something good and positive to say.
And in Allah we place our trust.