My aim through this blog is to always try to keep it realistic. There are some blogs out there who make home ed life seem almost perfect with perfectly behaved children and perfectly followed schedules! Home Ed life is certainly NOT like that.
I have really good days where I feel we had really good productive home ed days and at the end of other days I just feel like crying out of exhaustion and frustration. I find that everytime I’m expecting, I kind of go through weeks on and off of feeling like I’m the worst home edder ever. In fact these last few days, I haven’t felt like a very good Mum.
I’ve been struggling with the sickness with some days of ease alhamdulillah. I feel tired CONSTANTLY and find myself crashing out literally on the sofa at least 3x day. I feel very guilty that I’m not giving my children what they need and deserve and seriously ‘SCHOOL’ has been a serious option recently. I’m tired.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful – astaghfiruAllah. I thank Allah for this new pregnancy and I pray He blesses me with a healthy child. I’m just feeling it – I’m very very very tired. I feel as though there’s so much to do and yet no energy to accomplish half the tasks.
My house is an absolute tip. My poor husband is having to help out when I do crash and I just don’t feel I’m doing very well. R is only doing workbooks at the moment – how boring! She plays a lot, reads and has her outdoor activities but at home I feel home ed has become just workbook based. The boys are constantly crying, screaming and wanting what the other wants. *sigh*
R would be in year 2 right now if she were in school – I do wonder if I’ve failed her in her education. Z would be starting Reception this September and Y is only 2 and a few months. I want the best for my children and wonder with the expanding family if I am doing them justice.
I was discussing home ed and big families with a couple of home edders. A few of them said that its easy to home ed one child, or even 2 or 3 but as one sister said, ‘When you hit 4, that’s when you’ve entered the ‘big family’ stage and its very testing.’ Her comment was an honest one but it made me wonder if I can actually carry on home edding my children.
Tired. Confused. But alhamdulillah for my deen as there is no comfort except in the remembrance of Allah.