One month old..

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I really don’t know where time has gone subhanaAllah.

It only seems like yesterday that I was in the intense moments of labour. Alhamdulillah, I have taken the last month to try and rest and mashaAllah my mother in law spent the month with us and this definitely helped. She returned to Algeria a week ago and this week has been an adjustment to being an Ummi to 4 children.

This last month has been completely out of routine. The children haven’t really been doing very much academically. But it definitely has been a month of learning – life’s learning!

R really enjoyed having her grandmother here – masha’Allah she learn 4 new knitting stiches and completed quite a large piece of knitting. My mother in law also taught her how to crochet – so R has been doing a lot of this. She is currently working on a knitting project – making a small bag. She also enjoyed a trip to the Ragged School Museum with some other home edders – I actually went on this trip as a child and it was amazing so much so that I still remember it. The children enter a real Victorian classroom and kitchen with an actress acting as a strict Victorian teacher. R absolutely loved it.

We are currently trying to decide what baby’s name is – we did previously name her S but my husband wants to change her name – so at the moment – she’s nameless lol!

Yesterday, I spent most of the day planning next week’s home ed – I feel that we have been ‘off’ for far too long. I’m not sure how next week will go as it will be home edding with a newborn but we’ll see how it goes insha’Allah.

After the last month, I feel that I need to give a lot more of my attention to Z. He’s going to be 5 in March inshaAllah and I am concerned about his emotional development – I’m not too fussed about his academic progress but I am worried about his character and emotional well being. I can see that he needs some quality time with me and I hope I can give him that inshaAllah. I have been reading a lot about children who are aggressive/angry. Children that don’t seem to be interested in anything etc and also how I as a parent can change and bring about a positive reacction in my children. I feel that home ed is so much more than just academics. I want my children to emotionally and spiritually grow in a very positive way – I feel I have lost sight of that to a certain degree amongst the hifdh, math and english lessons.

Another topic – This last month has also seen an amazing thing happen within my family. My father and I have been estranged for quite some years and masha’Allah he recently got back in touch and we had our first telephone conversation a few weeks ago after so many years. SubhanaAllah wa bi hamdih – this is purely from Allah! Prior to this telephone call, he was writing to R and R wrote a few letters back. This has been quite an emotional time especially after the birth of baby. I praise Allah for the blessings He has recently brought me – walhamdulillah.

Hope to blog more insha’Allah…time permitting 😉

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8 responses »

  1. May Allah make the continuing home ed. easy for you. ameen. I also have 4 (my youngest is just 7 weeks old) and their ages are similar to your kids ages (8, 6, 2, 7 wks) and I’m homeschooling too! I have been following your blog for many years and have learnt a lot and been in similar situations like yours:) My mom actually thought this was my ‘secret’ blog lol.

    Mabrook on the baby! and many duas for coping successfully!

    My son is going to be 7 soon and I’m having trouble with him too. he’s very smart mashaAllah but needs constant stimulation otherwise he ends up annoying everyone! He seems to need more of my time and attention and help with emotional development (he cries easily! – or maybe out of frustration and boredom! i don’t know!) He’s just different from my other kids! Please do share any websites or material you read!

    Personally, I would say take another week or so off from really homeschooling as I tried to jump back into it after my mother left … but started having migraines. Your baby’s sleep patterns will start changing soon and it may become a little hard to cope…

  2. Assalam alaikum.

    I truly am grateful for the blessing Allah has given you with you father. May he strengthen your relationship with him.

    Having a newborn is always hectic allow your self this time to relax and re adjust. Remember what your mentor said about the daughter and the igcse. She taught herself and got an a*. Allah is very kind to his servants if you endevour to to teach your kids their Islamic affairs, He will teach them their academic affairs.

    I pray Allah has mercy on you and you family and grants you all Jannah

  3. Mabrook on the baby! Please take good care of yourself-your children will benefit. I have 4 boys -6y,3y old twins & 17m old. I’ve had to experiment a lot to get things right for them but things are now going well MA. You need to carefully look at the possible reasons for Z’s behaviour. I’ve found that boys:
    Respond well to predictable structure-same thing, same time, same person
    Need a lot of exercise-every day if possible, preferably outside, if not-in a large a space as possible
    Love to learn kinesthetically ie by moving, doing etc
    Love to learn using technology
    Respond to ‘hidden” teaching ie learning while doing something that doesn’t seem like formal teaching
    Respond best to quite short learning sessions
    At this age do better if each child is taught individually- take turns with mum- otherwise it’s chaos, I have to do major part of teaching when baby naps or is out of house at nursery 2 morning a week
    Regular contact with friends of the same age is very very very important- girls & little kids can be fun but not as much as boys the same age or older boys
    Compare themselves to other boys & like to feel they match up
    Will copy good behaviours from children outside the family
    Need to spend a lot of time with dad
    Regular snacks help mood & learning
    Respond v well to being given regular responsibility e.g. ‘Big boy’ jobs- clear the table, put shoes in proper place etc
    Respond v well to praise & expressions of love, which should be v frequent
    Sometime need specific solutions e.g. Arguments over possessions were a problem in our house-we made a ‘good Muslim tree’ where the kids hang laminated leaves with a written record on the back of all good muslim behaviours performed that day- it has had an amazing effect MA on all aspects of their behaviour & reinforces the importance of living a Muslim life.
    Need 1 on 1 time- alone for at least a short period with mum or dad
    Need to be treated equally- kids are v astute and notice even minor differences in how they are spoken to, praised, scolded etc.
    Need a lot of sleep, regular bedtimes, straight to sleep after routine
    Respond badly to diet high in junk food-affects mood & behaviour

    It is not easy to parent not to mind homeschool 4 children, each with their own style & needs. Don’t be hard on yourself, just do your best- Allah will take care of the rest.
    Take as much help from others as possible e.g. Let 1 child go play at friends house while you work with another etc etc

    Your family is unique & what works for us may not work for you-just wrote what helped me in my time of stress trying to manage my boys! Lol

    Xx

    • Sister, I just want to thank you so very much mashaAllah. May Allah truly reward you. Excellent tips mashaAllah. I have 4 boys -6y,3y old twins & 17m old. I’ve had to experiment a lot to get things right for them but things are now going well MA. You need to carefully look at the possible reasons for Z’s behaviour. I’ve found that boys: Respond well to predictable structure-same thing, same time, same person Need a lot of exercise-every day if possible, preferably outside, if not-in a large a space as possible Love to learn kinesthetically ie by moving, doing etc Love to learn using technology Respond to ‘hidden” teaching ie learning while doing something that doesn’t seem like formal teaching Respond best to quite short learning sessions At this age do better if each child is taught individually- take turns with mum- otherwise it’s chaos, I have to do major part of teaching when baby naps or is out of house at nursery 2 morning a week Regular contact with friends of the same age is very very very important- girls & little kids can be fun but not as much as boys the same age or older boys Compare themselves to other boys & like to feel they match up Will copy good behaviours from children outside the family Need to spend a lot of time with dad Regular snacks help mood & learning Respond v well to being given regular responsibility e.g. ‘Big boy’ jobs- clear the table, put shoes in proper place etc Respond v well to praise & expressions of love, which should be v frequent Sometime need specific solutions e.g. Arguments over possessions were a problem in our house-we made a ‘good Muslim tree’ where the kids hang laminated leaves with a written record on the back of all good muslim behaviours performed that day- it has had an amazing effect MA on all aspects of their behaviour & reinforces the importance of living a Muslim life. Need 1 on 1 time- alone for at least a short period with mum or dad Need to be treated equally- kids are v astute and notice even minor differences in how they are spoken to, praised, scolded etc. Need a lot of sleep, regular bedtimes, straight to sleep after routine Respond badly to diet high in junk food-affects mood & behaviour

      It is not easy to parent not to mind homeschool 4 children, each with their own style & needs. Don’t be hard on yourself, just do your best- Allah will take care of the rest. Take as much help from others as possible e.g. Let 1 child go play at friends house while you work with another etc etc

  4. Bismillah
    Salam alaykum
    Mashallah and may Allah keep helping you and making things as easy as possible inshaAllah.
    I’m so happy for you and your dad. Dad’s are so important and as I grow older, I see their importance even more subhanallah, as my recent experience has shown me. So alhamdulillah for you and your father. May Allah bless that relationship and good things come for both of you inshaAllah ameen.
    MashaAllah you are always so energetic and dedicated and may Allah help you and bless you with more. I am still learning about the whole homeschooling thing so no advice here but I pray for Allah to help you, guide you, protect you and bless you and your family and kids through this time. I’m really just amazed and so pleased for your whole family and everything that is happening mashaAllah.
    I look forward to hearing more about Z and hope you will share any resources as the other sister said inshaAllah.
    And thank you to sis Yasmin for sharing your experience/perspective on raising boys. I want to try some of the things you mentioned inshaAllah.
    FiHubAllah
    R

  5. Mabrook on the baby! May Allah make her among the pious.I also gave birth to a baby girl two weeks ago.Insha allah starting to play the role of bieng a mum to four kids same as you Umm Raihan.

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