I’m sure we’re all aware of the hadith that a person is upon the religion of his friend.
I think some home edders are a bit naive in thinking that home ed children are all of good character because they’re at home. Far from it. We still need to be on top of our children’s characters.
Sadly I came across an incident a few weeks ago about something R said to another girl at one of her activities. It’s the first time I’ve come across her being unkind to someone else. I was naturally very upset. When I questioned R about it she didn’t realise the impact of her words. And burst out crying. She was so sorry but it was a good lesson for her and since then she keeps asking me whether something she has said seems offensive so I’m happy that she’s more aware of her words.
I want my children to be good friends to others and for them to have good friends.
I’ve realised that if I want my children to display good characteristics it has to start with me. If I’m rude they’ll be rude. And that scares me. My gosh I have so many bad characteristics and the older I get the more difficult it is to change. This reminds me as to how important it is to cultivate good characteristics within my children when they are young, me being a good role model and the importance of them having friends who will remind them to uphold good characteristics and vice versa.
I had a discussion with R today. I told her whilst friends are important, she doesn’t need many friends. .. only a good few ones. I reminded her that she must always choose her friends wisely and that how she behaves towards others is what she will get in return.
Through these discussions I’m realising so much about myself. We so desperately want our kids to be great Muslims, with exemplary characters… but what about us?
As someone who was very needy of friends as a teenager, I don’t want my children to feel a desperate need to have friends but at the same time I want them to have a few really good ones that help them grow as people and as believers.
I no longer feel that need for friends anymore. And I’m quite content with the few good ones I rarely see but help me grow as a person. I just pray that my children have positive people around them as they grow and that I too am able to change myself.
This home ed journey is very much a learning path for me too…