Death and hifdh

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Last week was a very intense week for us a family. A sister Solace UK had been supporting was dying and eventually did return to her Lord. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajioun. So formal home Ed kind of flew out of the window as I had to arrange for transportation of the body, the ghusl, janazah and then burial.

Despite not being as available to the kids as I normally am, they got to experience praying the janazah, and witnessing the actual burial of our dear sister. Real Islamic studies lessons subhanaAllah…They saw the body taken out of the coffin, lowered into the grave, and the wooden planks positioned over the body. They then contributed in filling the grave with the crumbled earth. It was a very moving experience for them and I think it left it’s mark on R.

A sister asked me if it would be too much for them. I said no. Death is a part of life and it’s a reality they need to know and remember.

Since then, she’s developed a sudden interest in the journey of the soul after death and the signs of the day of judgement. So I’m in the process of stocking up some books inshaAllah. If you can recommend any good titles, please do let me know.

This has led us onto thoughts about R’s hifdh. I’m of the opinion that a child doing hifdh should never really stop hifdh but to reduce it if more time is needed for murajaah. However, recently we have decided to stop her hifdh for about 10 days. Her murajaah has become very intense in recent weeks and we feel it is best to do a huge intense round of murajaah before continuing. We have always had the target of her completing her hifdh by age 10 and inshaAllah Allah will bless her to reach that target. But after the recent death, it has changed our perspective somewhat.

There’s no rush. In fact, I’d rather she finishes later by 16 and memorises it well and really solidifies and consolidates her hifdh than to complete by age 10 and her hifdh is patchy.

We’ve also been thinking about our intentions towards hifdh. Since R has been memorising, she has always wanted a huge party with her friends once she finishes inshaAllah. I have no problem doing that for her but I want all of our intentions to be pure and so we’ve decided to postpone the party some time after she completes all her hifdh. In that way, we hope that our intentions will be purer.

After she completes her hifdh, it still be a private affair. No one knowing aside from us in the family. Trying to link that back to shukr and being grateful to Allah. Then later on we’ve agreed she can tell her friends so as to invite them to her party. I don’t want her to start advertising it as soon as she’s completed as it interferes with her intention. And it affects my own. Life is preparation for the next life. We need to be careful what we say and do and how we do things…. As they either have a positive or negative effect on our next life.

May Allah help us all. Ameen

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One response »

  1. السلام عليكم

    I am so pleased to read this post! As an unschooling mother, I totally agree with letting your child learn at their pace, especially when what they are learning is the Glorious Book of Allah.

    It is better to memorize the Qur’an well and thoroughly, but at a later date, than to rush through it’s memorization just to meet a self-obligated target (pre-set by us using our human logic).

    After she completes her hifdh, it still be a private affair. No one knowing aside from us in the family. Trying to link that back to shukr and being grateful to Allah. Then later on we’ve agreed she can tell her friends so as to invite them to her party. I don’t want her to start advertising it as soon as she’s completed as it interferes with her intention. And it affects my own..”

    I especially admire, and totally agree with, your above statement. Alhamdulillah that you’re blessed with ikhlaas (sincerity of heart). I am asked often by my relatives why I do not advertise or tell everyone about my children’s milestones or Deen-related achievements; why I keep them private. Well it is, as you said, to train them in that whatever they do, it should be only for Allah, not for seeking the pleasure of people (though they can be brought into the picture later on, to share the joy).

    May Allah bless you Umm R. You have been an inspiration for me through all these years, in homeschooling my own children. 🙂

    ‎جَزَاكِ اللهُ خَيْرًا كَثِيْرًا

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