Monthly Archives: November 2016

And so love them



A few sisters I know have recently become new mothers and a few will enter that world very soon.

It takes me back to the time I became a new mother – it was so new and I literally was thrown into unknown turbulent waters.

I recently reopened my homeschooling blog that I began back in 2007 when my eldest was 2.5 years old. A few days ago, she looked at me and said ‘Ummi, I’ve finished reading every single blog post you wrote about me…about us.’ I can’t remember half of those blog posts. She looked like she was in deep thought about what she had discovered about her younger years, of which she only has vague memories.

I too was in deep thought and my own thoughts took me to a notion that I know well. As an NLP Trainer, I know that though she cannot remember the details of her childhood, those very details have been stored inside her mind and have become the filters that shape her every day experience today. Lost in my own thoughts, I was taken to the recent discussions with my ‘new mother’ sisters.

A few of them asked me for advice and without thinking, it as though the truth had to escape my lips.

‘Love them unconditionally’, I said.  

A mother will:

  • be so tired and so love them.
  • experience disappointment from her children and so love them.
  • be hurt and angered and so love them.
  • become a referee between her children and so love them.
  • have her mental, physical, and emotional energy drained and so love them.
  • sacrifice her food, sleep, and sometimes her dreams and so love them.

Love them, love them, and love them some more. How? Through action. And continue loving them until the Beloved takes your soul.

Loving your children unconditionally through action will most likely not be remembered by them in detail. However, those details will be stored in their unconscious mind, forever acting as a major filter for the experiences of their present and their future; the way they feel, the decisions they make, their choices, and their behaviour…filtered by the love they experienced.

Your unconditional love will be a game changer in how they deal with life.

Love them unconditionally – it is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. When their life is infused with love, that will become one of the primary things that they know.  When they know and experience love unconditionally, they too will be able to love – creatures, people, and most importantly Allah azza wa jaal Himself. As I mentioned in a previous post, if love is not in their unconscious library – then how will they ever be able to love, receive love willingly or experience the beautiful intimate relationship of love with the Lord of the Worlds.

Gift your child with the experience and knowledge of love. For the sake of Allah…love them.

Share your thoughts here:

Where have we been?


It has been a few years since I’ve blogged. That makes me feel somewhat sad. This blog has been private for some time and I’ve decided to reopen it due to a number of requests.

Wow, to think that I started it back in 2007 and here we are almost 10 years later.

What’s new?


R is 12, Zuzu is 8 (soon to be 9), Y is 6 (soon to be 7) and baby S is soon to be 4 inshaAllah.


We live in Algeria!

The children are still being home educated the British system. R, Zuzu, and Y all experienced school for the first time. Yup – they went from fully home educated and ‘at home’ from birth to an Algerian school and the Algerian curriculum! Probably need to blog about it.

So, we’re here in North Africa – our new home, learning, growing, falling out, laughing, crying, struggling, triumphing…living.

The blog is open to you all again. Hope it will still be of benefit to those of you who wish to revisit.

Looking back at old posts – wow, how things have changed and how the children have changed.

May Allah help all of us in raising these little and ‘not-so-little-anymore’ believers. Ameen.


***Update*** R asked me what I was doing as I wrote this post – she couldn’t remember that I had run a blog! What an emotional time for me to look at her now aged 12 as she reads the blog that was started when she was just younger than 3 years old!

Your sister,

Umm Raiyaan